Make your presence felt

How to be more confident at a new place?

Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash

Personal development

We all have been in situations where we wished we could have been more extrovert and social but don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. It’s evolution that is to be blamed. We are the descendants of those who lived in savannah fearing if any stranger would kill them😨. But, now times are different. You have to socialize a bit in order to cooperate better to ultimately perform better. While it’s perfectly okay to be an introvert, we always wish🤞 we can cooperate better at a new place whether it’s a new school, college or company.

If you find difficulty in opening up at a new place full of strangers, I’ve got your back 🤝. Here is a five tricks system in my arsenal which I myself have applied to cooperate better with strangers which ultimately led me to perform better:

1️⃣ Strong eye contact: a weak eye contact with a person you’re in conversation with, puts you in either of the two categories: not trustworthy, not confident🫤. I believe you don’t want to be in either of the two.

How to have a strong eye contact? While in a conversation with a person, hold eye contact with them except for when: the other person breaks the contact or you need to think for a moment before speaking.

2️⃣ Smile: someone has rightly said, “smile is the best infection”. Humans are hardwired to mimic the expressions of others. Therefore, when you smile at a stranger they smile too, setting up an instant connection.

How to smile? Don’t fake a smile, a person can easily figure it out. When you smile, smile with your eyes. By that I mean when you smile your cheeks rise and your eyes squint😄. That’s the signature of a true smile.

3️⃣ Use hand signals: use your forearms or your hands to signal what you’re saying. Take any of the Ted talk videos and you’ll find the speaker using their hands to illustrate what they’re speaking. Using hands make conversations more engaging and listeners recall better what you said. It’s like adding emojis to a boring plain text😉 to give the text more picturesque effect.

How to use hand signals? You’ll know how to use them. An example: when you talk about directions, instead of just saying it use your hands to point in that direction.

I often felt left out in group conversations. I just sat there listening to everyone, but found it difficult to slide in. Keep these two tricks in mind next time you have a group chat.

4️⃣ Add to the conversation: do you have any fresh perspective you can give on the topic that is being discussed? Anything you’ve read on the topic or something related to it?🤔 Just add that to the conversation.

How to add to the conversation? Simply read more. Whether it’s newspaper or books, when you read more you have more topics on which you can hold conversations on. Here is my my article on how to read books better and faster.

I don’t have enough time to read

5️⃣ Ask in conversation: if you’re finding it difficult to add something to the conversation, there is an easier way to participate. Ask questions.

How to ask in conversation? When a person it talking about Taj Mahal: You see Taj Mahal was built by Shah Jahan in the loving memory of his wife Noor Jahan. The legend goes that Shah Jahan ordered to chop off workers’ hands so they don’t built something as grand as Taj Mahal again. You can simply ask: Did you say they chop off workers hands, isn’t that cruel? You are now part of the conversation. Simple, isn’t it?😁

Note: Fake it till you make it, practice in front of a mirror, the changes will be gradual.

Book alert 📗

As we discussed earlier, to be able to add to the conversations you should read more. This week I recommend you read the fiction novel: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. One of my friends at college recommended me to read this. Dan Brown is a genius in the way he has weaved fiction around Vatican City and the Pope. The plot was so intriguing that I finished the book (625 pages) in just 5 sittings. Highly recommended! 😌

Watch time 🎥

Here is a video that analyses how our Keanu Reeves aka John Wick marks his presence using hand signals even with his quiet speaking style:

Quote of the week

Motivational speaker and author, Steve Maraboli on smiling:

Smile at strangers and you just might change a life.

Get 1% better 💖

If there’s is one thing that I would like you to work on, it is your eye contact. It will totally change your game.

Until next week, ✌

Jainuine